IMPOSSIBLE WATER BOTTLE FLIP TRICK SHOTS!! *RECORD BREAKING*

IMPOSSIBLE WATER BOTTLE FLIP TRICK SHOTS!! *RECORD BREAKING*

August 31, 2019 100 By Kailee Schamberger


Cracking eggs *喊叫* -3,2,1-(Omg David *Intro* Ay yo
Whats fucking good I know you guys missed that, because we did! Haven’t said “What’s fucking good” in a while, Feels good to be back, Anyways, today I am going to be breaking more world records. I’m with DavidParody- *Cue weird David noise* *Chuckle* Gets better every time. We have a shitload of supplies, over here. Those are all the world records we’re going to be breaking today. But, I promised you guys I would make a video with Sylvia. Sylvia’s been really busy, And we haven’t been able to film that video, But, she told me if this video hits 200,000 likes She is gonna attempt the most elastics put on a face, WITH me. So please, guys, go down, SMASH that like button, So p-
-Wait wait wait, -Aren’t we filming a Guiness world records video? (?) 300,000 thumbs up in one day!!! Let’s hit a world record in 24 hours, WolfFam, I know you guys have it in you, ’cause we smoke it on every video, Let’s hit 300,000 likes in 24 hours, Go down, smash that like button right now- Sylvia? You’re gonna film it with me, right? She’s gonna film it with me. Anyways, let’s get into the video. So the first record we are gonna attempt to break; Is “Most Bottle Flips Flipped Onto a Table in 1 Minute”. The record is 34 by some fucking kid, I don’t even care. You guys know I’m the bottle flip God, If you don’t know- *Cue the troll video* (OMG WOW AMAZING) I mean, those are the shots that I’m making- So I got my water bottles right here, If you guys don’t know how much to drink- (CHUG CHUG CHUG YES) *Breathless* That was actually the perfect amount.
-To the third line? To the third line. If you fill it up to the third line, You will land every flip you take. (Oops, cut that out) So let’s just make sure we got a rhythm- Okay. Okay.
*David ‘oohing’* Oh! Yeah, that was going- Okay, blessed! So we got the rhythm now, David’s on the timer, -3,-
WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH -2,
Okay, hold on. *Slaps chest* (That was a good slap) -Owww! -Go! 1. 2. 3. -10 seconds down. -Come ONN! RESET! -Wha- *Laughs* What the fuck, come on *Still laughing*
I gotta reset, reset, *More rambling about resetting* -Go! *Fail, fail, fail* RESET! *David’s hyena laugh* I need to sit. -Geez, you’re a me- I actually do need to sit.
-You’re a mess, you’re a mess… GO! (Oh?) 2. *Same time* 3. -Re- reset? (I agree) RESET! -You’re over, you’re over. Okay, I’m subbing David in guys, Literally, as soon as you add time pressure, You cannot make the shot. David’s up. 34 is the record to beat, I got you on the- Okay? I got you on the- calculator. 3, 2, 1, go. Ohhh myyy Goddd! Yo, no no no no no. C’mon, keep it up. Hit one. What are you- what are you doing? -Bro, I need to summon the Gods.
Okay, Summon the Gods, let’s go. *Cue videos of savage little kids* *Moment of concentration* Boom! 2! 3! 4! 10! 11! 17! 21! Oh my God bro, you literally have like 10 more seconds!
*David panicking* Let’s go. Come on bro, one more flip, HIT IT, HIT IT! Boom! OHHH MY GOD YO! YOU HIT FUCKING 10 AT ONCE BRO-
-35! LET’S GO, 35- *Cue the uncontrollable yelling* I can’t even believe that just happened,
-YES!!! Good job bro! (?) Oh- *Chuckles* Okay. Next world record- don’t ever challenge me in anything again. ‘Kay, so the next world record we’re gonna attempt to beat is; “Most Marshmallows Eaten in 1 Minute”. I’m a pretty good speed eater, not the best- But I’m pretty fucking savage, okay? So I got a bunch of marshmallows, These ones are actually nice and soft. I got my water here because I didn’t read anything about it saying I COULDN’T use water. Let’s lube up my mouth a bit. *Spits out water immediately* There we go. I might choke. -No, you can beat this, look! 26. I just gotta get everything in this pile.
-You GOT this! BUT, you have to do one at a time, Which is the only problem. -Actually, that’s not the only problem. -Look at your hairline. (Oop, there it is!) I’ll see you guys tomorrow (?). 3, 2, 1, go! (Damn) -Ooh! -Keep going, keep going, keep going! -20 seconds- Bro you got this!!! -Holy shit! -Ooh! -30 seconds left, 30 seconds left. -There’s like nothing. -Ooooh! -More water, more water! -Holy SHIT! -Bro! -One more! -2 seconds! *Uncontrollable cackling* (?) I was literally, (?). -Yeah. *Wolfie dying* The only problem with that, Is that you have to eat one at a time. -You could’ve done it. I could’ve fucked that record up! So you can do it?
-Yeah, yeah? (What a waste) What was that? -Nothing. Those were just marshmallows you dropped, right? Not, not in my record?
-No, no. On a serious note, I think I got like 20/25, Well, FUCK! Close enou- Ohhh my God I’m dead. *Wheezing* On your mark, get set, go! *Typical David troll* Okay, so defi- *Gets hit in face with marshmallow* Stop spitting in my face! You’re not supposed to spit in my face- OWWH! The record’s-
-I saw how you were- -You think I’m gonna try that??!
*Laughing* -What the HELL? Next record. Okay guys, so for the next couple records- We moved into my office! My nice computer room. The first record we’re gonna attempt in this- *I’m so done with you David face* What’re you doing? That’s my SOUNDproofing, buddy! First record we’re gonna be breaking, David is gonna attempt. Because David, honestly, is a faster typer than me. How fast can you type the alphabet? *Carelessly smashes random keys* -Done. This man just said “Done”… okay, blessed! I’ll show you how fast the record is, By typing it out- because I’m typing right? I’m gonna say “how fast the world record to break the alphabet”. (Wow, you’re fast!) (Nvm) -Umm… I’ll just redo that. -Maybe Google’s like, broken today. One more time. (-_-) -UhhHHhHuhhh? -Not that close! 3.43 seconds.
-No- no no! -How do you do it in 3- Practice makes perfect. Here, let me put in my password. *More trolling* *Laughing* So I got a nice Microsoft Word open, Try it out. Oh, fuck, you’re already behind. Abcdef- you know it? -Abc, d, efg, (Wait was that singing?) GO! *Laughing* Oh God, yo! Just try it out. Practice. (Um…) *The “Wtf David ur slow” face* -YO! You actually-
-That was not bad! It wasn’t bad, but I think that was like 12 seconds. You gotta cut it down, like by-
-Bro, what do- how long do you do? Here, watch. ‘Kay, ready for this? -Are you about to smash the record?
About to smash the record. I’m gonna do .1 seconds. -3, 2, 1- -Go. BOOOM! OH my God, yo yo!
-WHAt the- Half a second! -There’s no way that’s the whole alphabet.
Bro, look. Abcdefghijklasd;kf;aldask;lfasdlsafdafdlskjl;asdf, -WHAT the HELL??? I was just like, “3, 2, 1, GO!” Bam. ‘Kay, actually beat the record, buddy. On your mark, get set-
-Wait wait wait wait wait. -Smash that thumbs up for good luck. Smash that thumbs up, let’s get it guys! Start. (OH MY GOD DAVID HOW DARE YOU?) -Let’s go! WOOOO! I’m cheesed! I was actually so excited, I was like, “Yo, he’s going, he’s going!” THIS MAN SAID “You have a big nose”! Get the FUCK out of here, yo- Hold the damn camera. I’m actually gonna try. Okay, ready? 2, 1, go! -Uh, huh, no.
OHHH MY GOD!!! -No no no, I’m going home, *Laughing*
Okay, okay okay! ‘Kay, actually, here we go.
-Okay. 3, 2, 1, go! -Finish it, finish it! *Messes up* *Messes up (x2)* Yo, yo! “lmn”,
-“opq”! -“q- q, rs”! You’re almost there buddy!
*Rambling the alphabet* -Yo there’s a space, there’s a space. -Go back, go back, you have to go back.
*Yells* TIME! -20 seconds.
21! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ‘Kay, fuck these records! So I thought a good way to transition onto the next record is because David dissed my nose. I’m gonna use my nose for the greater good. I’m gonna try and break another record with this bad boy, That is very manuvernu- able. The record is, How fast you can type a sentence using your nose. The sentence is; “Guiness World Records have challenged me to type this sentence using my nose in the fastest time.” It starts with a capital- there’s a capital ‘G’ on Guiness, So, that’s gonna be hard. The period’s gonna be hard. But if this Indian guy can do it, I feel like I can do it. His nose is a little more narrow than mine, Mine doesn’t have like, the accuracy. But it has like- what’s the word I’m looking for? The Savageness. So, fuck it. Let’s get it. His technique was- he literally just left it on the table, Can I hit a capital ‘G’? *Laughing* Lowercase ‘t’. He did it in 46 seconds, -46? Alright, let’s move to the next one. Wha-?
-There’s NO way you’re getting this. Motivate me, and let me know how I’m doing, As I do it.
-Go! -Guiness! -Capital ‘G’! -You’re off to a GREAT start! -“Guiness World Re-” Okay. Alright alright… reset, reset. -Your nose is hitting 4 keys at once. -Chill out! Technically, it’s just with my nose, right? -Yeah? Blessed, I’ll be back. -Where are you going? -Oh my God. (Wtf Wolfie) -Bro! That’s gonna hurt!
Ready? -Go. -Ay! -Ge- GET OFF CAPS LOCK! -Get off caps lock!
AHHH RESTART, restart! -Go! -Bro. Why the fuck are you putting a ‘u’? I’m panicking! Last round, I’m using my fucking nose. -Go. -Yeah – bro, keep going, “Guiness World Records”, -“To type this sentence” Period! Don’t forget the period! *Uncontrollable laughing fit* Honestly, shout out to this man! Look at him go! -Stop! It’s all on the pointy nose, that’s the only reason. So the next record we’re breaking is the “Fastest Texter”. There’s a certain sentence you have to type, David’s gonna try it first, But basically the sentence is; “The razor-toothed piranhas of the genera Serrasalmus of *gibberish are the most ferocious freshwater fish in the world. In reality, they seldom attack a human.” 18 seconds to do it. -1- I’m in a long distance relationship, So I’m on my phone all the time texting bae. -2- I’ve got a pop socket, for cushioning, Okay? -And 3- I’m just a hidden talent. Okay, blessed. But do you have “Fleksy”? -What’s “Fleksy”? The program he used to text. It lets you text faster than usual, apparently. It’s just like, autocorrect on ‘roids. -Ohhh, “Fleksy”! Nah, you have no idea what that is.
-Of course I have “Fleksy”! This man’s going to the App Store and downloading “Fleksy”. World’s fastest texter attempt #1. Let’s go. 3, 2, 1, go. Let’s go. Speed those hands up. You have 10 more seconds left. You literally have 10 more se- you have 5 more seconds left. 2… 1… Aaaand, okay yo-
-Hold on. -That was just a warmup. -I got a decent amount done.
You di- did you get it done? -Bro, I got up to like here. “Freshwater”, I know I can get it. Okay, blessed! 3, 2, 1, boom. Go. *Freaking out* Sean texted this guy and fucked everything up! Hey, I would ah- appreciate if you didn’t text David when we’re trying to beat the text record. The world’s fastest test record. You fucking SNAKE! I HATE YOU! Go. Let’s go. Let’s go. 12 seconds. 13 seconds. *David’s cackle* -Yo bro! How much more time do I have? You’re done. 28 seconds. -28 seconds. (?)
And you have a lot of typos. -Bro! Well YOU try! Bro, bless! Ready, I’m gonna type it. 3, 2, 1, go! *Turns on voice text* “The razor-toothed pirahnas of the genera-
-Uh.. “Serrasalmus and Pygocentrus are the most ferocious freshwater fish in the world.” “In reality, they seldom attack a human.” PERIOD! Bro! That was like (?) seconds!
-Boom! Boom! Yeah! “The wizard just promise of the generic Sarah summers and pyros-” *Dies* Next record! So the next world record we’re gonna try and break is “Most Clothespins put on your face in 1 minute”. The record’s 51. And the reason we put a time limit on this record, And not like, just “total clothespins” put on your face in a minute, Is because- this is what the man looks like when he did 104. I cannot break that record, like whose man is this? Stretchy face looking ass. So, we got a timer, we’re gonna try and break 51 in a minute. Honestly, I don’t think I’m gonna beat this one. (Which ones DID you break though?) ‘Cause my face is really squishy- but let’s get it! I’ll start on this side of my face, You get my right side of my face. 3, 2, 1, go. Yo, let’s just NOT do my most painful parts first? (Omg there you are Sylvia!) And we just- just go! Just go! Less talking, more clipping. Oh SHIT! (*Winces*) (?)
-Get it off the nose- *Laughs* Okay!!! We need to restart. We’re so far behind. -We’re TOO committed. *Imitation of a gorilla preparing to charge* -Think about happy (?), happy (?)
I CAN’T. *Screams* -I think you almost got the record! I can’t talk. *Freaking out* (The puns) AHHH! One at a time, one at a time! -Bro, I wanna hear a nice SIGH of relief on that. *THE PAIN* *Imitation of a bird* Where are they? Bro, they- my face is numb. *David cackling* Ah hooh oh oh, FUCK! -There’s creasings! Bro… the most painful thing in the world… I don’t know why that’s a record. I don’t even care if I lost. I think I got like 20 or 30, Fuck that record, Last record- Get this shit out of my face! (Salty) Ow. (Are you crying? Aw) *David continuing to cackle* So for the last record guys, I’m gonna have to take off my hat and reveal my crooked hairline. Basically, It’s “Most Eggs Smashed With Your Head in 30 seconds”. The record is 70, So I got 71 eggs in front of me- -Pause it. Count it. (?) These are legit. I’ll even add… 2 more here. Just to make sure… So that’s 73 eggs, the record is 70! And uh… Let’s get it! Smash the eggs, there’s really not much to say.
-Alright! -But you have to do one at a time, right? I don’t think you have to do one at a time. I know (?) one at a time. Let me check. So I just checked out a video, And one guy did line them up, So I’m gonna line them up. But the record when they lined it up was only 56. I’m gonna go with the HIGHER number, ’cause I wanna beat the higher number. Alright, as if I haven’t caused enough pain to my fucking head today, Let’s get it! Let me just do one practice egg. *Smashes egg* -Easyyy! I only have one attempt, ’cause I don’t have enough eggs,
-Yeah. I’m fucking shook. -3, 2, 1, go! -Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, -Bro, 5 seconds down. -10 seconds. -Keep going. *Yells* Let’s go!
-Ah-ah-ah-ah! Let’s go, let’s go! -Almost there, 10 seconds left! -2 more rows! -3, 2, 1- *Hollers in unison* *Wolfie continues hollering like a maniac* -You got- every- (Well damn) That is a world record of 73. I don’t care, If it’s not supposed to be one at a time Count the eggs guys! Cracked eggs,
-That’s cracked. Cracked, cracked,
-That’s cracked. Essentially, they’re all cracked. Let’s go-o-o, world record! -What a way to end it! -Now, we’re not gonna waste this, -We’re making scrambled eggs! Yeah-
Exactly! Kids in Africa couldn’t have eaten this, Because- we’ll just take this to a pan! (?) I- I’ll see you guys at the (?)! Alright, so there you guys go, I hope you guys enjoyed another “Breaking Guiness World Records”. Remember, if we hit 200,000 likes, Me and Sylvia on the next episode will do the rubber bands on the face, We’re gonna do a bunch of crazy shit- BUT- You wanna break a world record? Go down, smash that like button, Let’s hit 300,000! Huge shout out to my boy DavidParody; Go SUBSCRIBE to the MAN! We’re actually about to film a kind of drinking game-? -Drinko; episode 2! So if you guys wanna see ya boi turnt, Link will be in the description. Also, please guys, I need your help for 2 seconds! Comment down below more world records- Easy ones- (Mmm okay) That ya boi can break. Because I wanna break more world records, Because today, obviously, was flawless- We break every record! (Sure Jan) And I will see you guys soon where we- What’s my fucking outro?
-*David wheezing* And I will see you guys soon with another banger video, And as always- Stay savage. Leh go! *Cue SICK outro (I love you Fox and Wolf)* (I hope at least SOMEONE reads my subtitles…) (#WolfFam)